Hey.. hey.. Here I am again.. practicing my English. Not much to tell though. Well, maybe I’ll just share some of my ‘interesting’ experiences in my present job at food service line. Actually, there are always a lot of “interesting” patrons and incidents exist in restaurant atmosphere. But I’m not focusing my blog on this area.. ain’t like the professional waiter rant which never failed to amaze me with his wonderful story about those “fascinating” customers. However, he handed in his apron, he’s taken his last order in the middle of July 2008, and became a professional writer after that. So, if you’re interested to read his entries about how ‘awesome’ a restaurant life can be.. just read his posts before he stopped being a service person.

Anyway, I’m not here now to advertise that waiter rant. Time flew so fast and I’d been working for around 6 months in one outlet, before I was transferred to our youngest outlet on November 17. Yea.. newest, higher class, but very quiet, haha. Well.. I’ll write the “best” stories in my previous outlet that I can recall. Won’t be too many.. Won’t be too long.. Only some short scenes or even short sentences from my “lovely” customers that left a deep invisible mark in my mind and always made me smile when I was thinking about it sometimes…..

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Guest : I want to use these two dessert vouchers.
Me : Sorry, you can only use one voucher in one visit.
Guest : How about if after I use one voucher, I’ll go out and come in again to use the other voucher?
Me : Er.. that’s another story. It will already be your other visit then.
Guest : So what’s the different if I use it now? You can just split the bill.
Me : But sorry, Sir.. The term and condition is written behind that voucher, no split bill is allowed.
Guest : *(Pass one voucher to his son)* Those kids are not my children. I don’t know them at all. Kids… you go to another table and order you dessert.
Boy : *(Move to another table across their parents)* Excuse me, I want to order one mudpie.. and I want to use this voucher.
Me : *(Feel that it will be totally useless to talk more)* Ya.. sure.

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

The restaurant was full house. We had to walk around to ensure all the customers got our attention and all their needs was served promptly. One guest near the corner waved at me.
Guest : Excuse me..
Me : Yes.. how may I help you?
Guest : Can you do me a favor and don’t walk through this area too many times?
Me : Uh? Sorry.. I’m just doing my job and make sure that everything is okay.
Guest : I know you are doing you job. But I feel that it’s annoying everytime you walk through in front of my table.
Me : Well… *(speechless)*
*(Complains usually came because customers didn’t get enough attention from the service staff and they had to wave several times before one server approached them. But.. I got this complain because I gave too much attention? Well.. Well..)*

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

I was “alone” on the floor. My colleagues were not on duty yet. Some tables were already occupied at that time and I saw a couple were waiting to be seated.
Me : Hi, table for two?
Guy : Yea.
Me : Ok.. this way please.. *(Escort them to one table near the entrance)*
Guy : *(Point to one table in other section)* Can we sit there at the corner?
Me : Sorry Sir, that section is temporary closed.
Guy : It’s still early and you closed it already?
Me : *(Yea.. it’s still VERY early.. We are just open. It’s not that I closed it ALREADY.. it’s I didn’t open it YET)* We don’t have enough man power to cover all the area at this moment, so.. that section is closed to maximize our service.
Girl : *(Asking to the guy)* Why don’t we sit over there? *(Point the table at the corner)*
Guy : It’s closed because they don’t have staff. What a stupid reason!
*(Hey.. I heard that.. And I knew he purposely said that loudly for me to hear)*
Girl : *(To me now)* Can you give us another table a bit inside please?
Me : *(Nah! Sorry.. I’m stupid. I don’t understand English. Well.. I just put the menu on top of the table that I gave them since the first time.. and pull out one chair)* Please have a seat. Our soup of the day is cream of mushroom.. *(Smile.. and leave..)*

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Guest : Hi, table for four please.
Me : Sure, this way please.
Guest : *(Point to one table with reserved sign on top of it)* Can I sit there at that RESERVED table?
Me : Er.. that table is.. RESERVED??
Guest : Oh.. okay..

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Guest : Can I have a Picasso pizza? *(Pizza with topping of own choice)*
Me : Which topping do you like to add on it?
Guest : Mushroom.. and onion.
Me : Ok, one pizza with mushroom and onion?
Guest : Yes! Is that something wrong with that!?
Me : Um.. No.. I’m just repeating the order.
Guest : Wait.. I think I’ll have the pineapple too.
Me : Sure. So you’ll have the pizza with mushroom, onion, and pineapple?
Guest : Yes! Yes! Do you really think there is something strange with my choice!?! *(Sounds very angry)*
Me : Er.. I’m so sorry. I just want to make sure that I won’t take a wrong order.
Guest : And a lemonade for me, a cup of cappuccino for my husband.
Me : Ok. I’ll send the order. *(Have no courage anymore to repeat the order one more time)*
*(I left the table to send the order.)*
Me : *(To my co-worker near the counter)* Could you please help me ask the guest at that table whether he wants his cappuccino to be served now or later after the meal? *(Don’t even have courage at all to ask anything anymore to that guest.. Feel that my english intonation is very bad.. is it?)*

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Server : Can you go to table 3? The customer complains that his mudpie tastes so ORDINARY.
Me : Uh? Is it supposed to taste EXTRAORDINARY?
Server : I don’t know. Just go to the table. They want to speak with manager.
Me : *(Sigh, and walk to the table)* Hi, how may I help you?
Guest : This mudpie tastes so ORDINARY.
Me : May I know how do you expect it to taste like?
Guest : I don’t know. I just can’t taste the Irish Cream.
Me : Ooh. Well, I will check for you whether they follow the standard recipe when making this mudpie.
*(Aha! Now I know that the taste of Irish Cream is EXTRAORDINARY! What a ‘deep’ english he has..)*

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Nine tables were joined together became a long table. It’s reserved for 18 pax. Two customers were standing at the entrance and one of them showed two of his finger.
Me : Hi, table for two.. this way please.
Guest : *(Look around and point to the long table)* Can we sit there?
Me : *(Amazed)* Um.. that table is quite long for two people I guess… It’s reserved for 18 person.
Guest : *(Not happy face)* . . . . .

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Guest : This ‘one for one set lunch’ promotion.. Is it applicable if I only order dessert?
Me : Well.. This is one for one SET lunch promo.
Guest : Ya.. set lunch.. So, is it applicable if I want to order the dessert only?
Me : Sorry, it’s not applicable. *(And I thought I was the one with bad understanding of english compared with that fluent english speaking Singaporean?)*

♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

Okay, enough stories. Conclusion? If you want to survive in service industry, forget awhile that you are a human.. Be a professional serving machine! I absorbed this advice also from the awesome ‘waiter rant’, I forget from which entry. But there’s one post from him which I bookmarked.. in my mind though, and recalled it over and over again whenever I felt like I was going to explode on a customer. One good story.. Thanx waiter, for writing it. Yes.. A professional serving machine.. I am.. now. Wish me luck.